Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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