fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
