There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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