He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
