I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
