Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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