Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
