Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
