This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
