Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
