"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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