And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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