If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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