He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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