and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We need a shit load of segways right now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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