i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
