If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
