Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
