Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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