Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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