I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Be still, my beating vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize