took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize