Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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