i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
