i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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