True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize