Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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