She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Actions speak louder than pants.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
