i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
