If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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