Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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