Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
