READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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