this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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