I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
