Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
