You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I understand Curling. That high.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
