CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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