I think my vagina is haunted
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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