I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
