whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
