Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
