is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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