she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
