it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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