she woke up with a sticky ear
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
