I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
