do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
