I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
