Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
