apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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