We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize