It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
