ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
