I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
