Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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