woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
