Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I lost the right to judge tonight
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
