Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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