Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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