A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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