So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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