just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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