If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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