Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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