so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
His nipple licking is glorious
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