therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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