he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
