I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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